Why do our New Year's resolutions always seem to fail, and how can we create habits that truly stick? We grapple with these perplexing questions in the latest episode of the Balance Business Dad podcast. Drawing from our personal experiences, we lay bare the distinction between habits and resolutions, and why the former trumps the latter when it comes to achieving our dreams. We break down habits into conscious and subconscious aspects, illustrating how they wield power in our everyday lives and spark lasting changes.
As we steer towards 2024, we take a deep dive into the importance of visualizing our future accomplishments. Forget resolutions; it’s time to focus on the individuals we need to become to realize these goals. We share a powerful exercise that involves toasting to the achievements of the next 12 months before they even occur. So, if you're ready to scrap the resolutions and start creating effective habits, join us in making 2024 the year of lasting, transformative change.
You can join over 350 other Dads like you by joining The Balanced Business Dad's Facebook group here: dadupgroup.com
Check out our website at: thebalancedbusinessdad.com
Socials:
RJ on Facebook at facebook.com/arjay3rd
RJ on Instagram at instagram.com/rjcampbell3rd
Dustin on Facebook at facebook.com/dustin.charles.718689
Dustin on Instagram at instagram.com/dustin_hoog
Why do our New Year's resolutions always seem to fail, and how can we create habits that truly stick? We grapple with these perplexing questions in the latest episode of the Balance Business Dad podcast. Drawing from our personal experiences, we lay bare the distinction between habits and resolutions, and why the former trumps the latter when it comes to achieving our dreams. We break down habits into conscious and subconscious aspects, illustrating how they wield power in our everyday lives and spark lasting changes.
As we steer towards 2024, we take a deep dive into the importance of visualizing our future accomplishments. Forget resolutions; it’s time to focus on the individuals we need to become to realize these goals. We share a powerful exercise that involves toasting to the achievements of the next 12 months before they even occur. So, if you're ready to scrap the resolutions and start creating effective habits, join us in making 2024 the year of lasting, transformative change.
You can join over 350 other Dads like you by joining The Balanced Business Dad's Facebook group here: dadupgroup.com
Check out our website at: thebalancedbusinessdad.com
Socials:
RJ on Facebook at facebook.com/arjay3rd
RJ on Instagram at instagram.com/rjcampbell3rd
Dustin on Facebook at facebook.com/dustin.charles.718689
Dustin on Instagram at instagram.com/dustin_hoog
Dads, do you want a thriving business that doesn't control you, a passionate marriage and kids that adore you? Do you want to grow deeper in your faith, be healthier both physically and mentally, build more meaningful relationships with your friends? Welcome to the Balance Business Dad podcast, where, in each episode, we dive into balancing and optimizing the six pillars of life Faith, health, marriage, fatherhood, brotherhood and business. And here are your hosts, pioneers of the Balance Business Dad movement Dustin Hoag and RJ Campbell.
Coach Dustin:What is going on, guys? Welcome to another episode of the Balance Business. Dad, I'm your host, coach Dustin with me, as always, the seasoned, the distinguished Mr RJ Campbell. Love it RJ what is going on in your world?
RJ Campbell:What are we going to have from Christmas? Yes, kids are excited. Yes, mine, I don't know if they are because they're adults, but the world is in good cheer. We're wrapping up the 2023. So a lot of good stuff in that way, good habits and resolution is coming to a close. That was a weird thing to add. I wonder why he said that Weird, but I have a question for you.
Coach Dustin:You said the kids are excited about Christmas. When you said that, were you thinking about your kids or were you thinking about your grandkids? I was thinking about my kids.
RJ Campbell:My grandkids are too young. They are not a habit to think about yet?
Coach Dustin:Oh, because I don't think when my parents talk, say the word kids or at all, I don't think they think about me at all anymore. Probably not.
RJ Campbell:Which, first of all, I think, but.
Coach Dustin:Brody Six. They've had a few more years. I think one of the coolest things ever is watching your parents become grandparents and this is totally off topic, but so I'm okay with being pushed to the side for my kids' sake, but yeah, so there was interest Anyway yes, I was thinking of my kids, my grandkids, especially.
RJ Campbell:The youngest one is six months old, so no idea, and granddaughter will be three the day after Christmas. Don't know how much yet she understands the anticipation of a big day like Christmas. This might be the first Christmas that she really understands who Santa is and what Santa brought, so next year could be the bombshell. This might be the first one not remembering last year.
Coach Dustin:My daughter, who is three and a half, so six months older than Charlie, is extremely excited, yeah. So yeah, interesting, cool. But we're going to jump right into it and, honestly, we've been kind of a snickering a little bit because our show prep we should have just recorded, because it's been great conversation. But the conversation that we're bringing to you today is all about the difference between habits and resolutions versus goals and all of that put together Because, as RJ has a very negative condensation about resolutions, he thinks everybody knows they're going to fail their resolutions.
RJ Campbell:I think we set resolutions knowing we're going to fail them.
Coach Dustin:And I don't necessarily agree with that, and it's the power of a coach. The reality of it is is why do so many resolutions fail? And how, if we do want to set a resolution or a goal, how do we make them stick? And that's the difference. And the way to make anything stick is the habits around it, right? So we kind of went into a long conversation is what is a habit, first of all? So what did you come up with when I said what is a habit? What did.
RJ Campbell:I say yeah, because I was wrong. But I said a habit is something that you're doing without even thinking about it. It's almost involuntary.
Coach Dustin:Yeah. So when we talked about that, I didn't disagree with that at first. I was like, yes, that's a habit and I think some of them are, but I don't think everyone is.
RJ Campbell:And probably few of them are compared. Dustin had a great example. Chewing your nails, yeah.
Coach Dustin:Blinding your fingernails. I think that's subconscious yeah.
RJ Campbell:Don't even realize it. You know your kid. You look over. Hey, you're chewing your nails again. Oops, didn't even know it. Yeah, smoking a cigarette? All right, let's go.
Coach Dustin:I think there's some conscious activities in that.
RJ Campbell:Yeah, you make an effort, especially nowadays get up, go outside and light a cigarette. I don't think too often you would just not even realize there's a cigarette in your hand. But I think it can go both ways. I used to I'm not gonna use any names on this because it's too hilarious. Guy worked with him my very first job back when you shared offices with people and you could smoke in the office for you guys that are old like me, and when this guy got stressed because he was a smoker, he'd light up a cigarette. And there was a time the other guy I shared the office with no names. We were watching him and he had one cigarette in his hand and two in ashtrays because he was so stressed he was just grabbing them and lighting them as he was put other ones down. So that was totally involuntary on that.
Coach Dustin:That's it involuntary, so you could smoke involuntary and I will say that my grandma smoked all the time. She didn't even realize there was a cigarette in her mouth a lot of the time. Yeah, yep, we've all had, and that was my grandma. I mean, she had an ash out to here while she was doing cooking food. Are you seeing that at the Waffle House, right? That, I'm gonna say, is pretty habitual, and unconscious.
RJ Campbell:So definitely that's one that could be both. So we came to the conclusion we're saying that not a lot of habits, this is a weird one, totally boring. At this point, involuntary is probably very few.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, but why we wanna talk about this is because we're all coming up on this. Everybody starts a new year with hey, I wanna do this, I wanna do that, and one of my goals for the year is I'm going to read the whole Bible. Right, it's not something I've done before. I got the Bible in a year, looking forward to doing this. For me to achieve that goal, the habit of reading daily has to be there before anything else, would you agree? I would agree.
Coach Dustin:So it starts, and I think that's where we're missing so much is when we say a resolution, which is very vague, I think. Well, here, I'll just read this that the difference between a goal and a resolution. So let's start right there. And these are not resolutions, these are goals, but right. A goal is specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, timely based, smart. The smart goal right, we know smart Resolutions are broader intentions or decisions to make a change in behavior or lifestyle. They are typically less specific and often involve a general commitment to do something differently or to achieve something in a given period. Right there, the two definitions explain why a resolution doesn't work.
RJ Campbell:So this whole thing started when we started talking about goals or habits versus resolutions. Correct, when I said in my negative mind, this is age and experience that people make New Year's resolutions knowing damn good and well, they're not going to keep them. We may okay, there's 0.037% of the people that don't think that way. But come on, when you made your New Year's resolution, admit it, You're new Biden. January 5th July or February 15th, you were done. If you were still doing that in July, that was a miracle. They it's got to be a massive percent fail and I think, realistically, we go in knowing we are not.
RJ Campbell:I've talked about this before. There's a big difference between being interested and committed and most of these resolutions is an interest, not a commitment. Dustin is committed to reading the Bible in a year. I think We'll find out as he goes along. Right now, difference between interested and committed, I see him as committed. We'll talk in March and see how far he has through it. He's past interested, I think, committed. I know this year I want to lose some weight, some not measurable, Not at all right Sounds interested, not committed.
Coach Dustin:So that's the challenge for all the business dads out there, because I do believe you should have goals or something you're working for Now. The difference between a goal and a habit which is really what, why this was all brought up is a goal has the destination. A habit doesn't. Habit is is the actions. We know that it's the actions that get us to a goal, but a habit is something that's lasting change. Example I'll get to call you out and then, of course, you'll get to call me out, but we all know RJ wrote his bicycle across the state of Missouri this summer. That was the goal. After that you haven't wrote as much, never picked it up again. That's not true, but right. But the difference is is you had a goal in mind and you went out and completed the goal. It wasn't I'm going to form the habit of riding my bike every day, even though that's what you did until the goal happened. But when the goal stopped, that's when the habit went away, Correct?
RJ Campbell:Wrote a last. After that Didn't stop writing but didn't have the commitment necessary. They need to ride every single day. So I would say it wasn't a true habit. No, I would say not, and it's funny, I don't use the word habit. This is what started our discussion and deep conversation on this. Dustin said I'm going to read the Bible in a year, so I need to develop the habit. Every day I have to read. And I said that's not a habit. Those are just steps to achieve the goal. I think of it in. In business you wouldn't say, well, okay, that's our, that's our corporate habit, that's our. No, those are steps to achieve the goal. I don't use the word habit in that way. That's an age thing. We didn't talk about habits back then, but I looked at it and said, eh, it's not a habit.
RJ Campbell:You set the steps to achieve that goal 365 of them. Check them off as you get them done.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, my, I don't want to use the word goal, because what we're talking about here, but the the goal really behind this is I want to read every day. I want to read the word every day. Once I'm done with the Bible, I want to continue that. Yeah, that was the next question.
RJ Campbell:Once you're done, will you ever look at it again? Yeah, and that's what I want.
Coach Dustin:That's what I want to develop is to make sure that when I'm done reading the Bible, I'm still in it, right? So the habit for me that I want is to read the Bible every day, and then you can even go step one step further and it's read every day. It's open the book every day. James Clear with Atomic Habits talks about how you, when you start, you, make them super, super simple. I'm going to open the book every day. Well, once you open the book, you should probably read it, but you don't have to.
RJ Campbell:That's the first step, right.
Coach Dustin:So those are habits versus goals. I think a goal is the destination. A resolution is a thought about a destination but it's.
RJ Campbell:It's not a plan. And see, I say that really, dustin's goal is to develop a habit. His goal is not to read the Bible in a year. His goal is to develop the habit of reading the word every day. The end result of that in the first year, well, he will have read the Bible, but he doesn't want to stop. So I think his goal is to develop a habit, not to use a habit to support the goal. It's a very weird convoluted. I don't even know why the hell we're talking about.
Coach Dustin:And honestly, it's, it's an eight, it's a it's, it's a constant loop.
RJ Campbell:It's infinite. It's an infinite loop.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, if you think about it, I have to create the habit, create the habit to read the Bible in a year, but I want to read the Bible in a year, so I have the habit of reading the word every day. It's a chicken or the egg? Yeah, it really is, yeah, interesting.
Coach Dustin:However, as we are, I'm coming to the end of the year, right? We're a week away from when this is going to be broadcast. So a week away, you're going to start a new year. What do you want 2024 to look like? And then I would ask what are the habits that you have to have to get what you want in 2024? And I think that's the real question. That's the question, and it's not what are my resolutions for new years, what are my new year's resolutions? It's what do I want in 2024? And then, what are the habits I have to have in 2024? And then, who do I have to become to have those habits? Those are the three questions I want you to ask yourself coming into this next week.
RJ Campbell:And by doing that thing in 2024, we'll develop the habits that you needed to do that thing, which is the habit you really wanted all along.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, james, clear again atomic habits. Everyone should read that book. But he talks about how your habits actually create or enforce your identity. So if you think about that is, if you are, habits are very easy to go into the health world. But let's just talk about that. If you are, have the habit of dessert every day or a six pack of beer every day, your identity is probably not a real healthy person Because of your habits. Yet if I ate a salad every single day and I ran five miles every day, but your identity is leaning on that healthy person, so a lot of your habits can drive your identity. Yeah, cool, and your identity controls your habits. So it's it again. It's back to that infinite loop.
RJ Campbell:Right, it's really interesting, it is so resolutions don't work.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, stop the resolution. Let's just take the resolutions out of our vocabulary.
RJ Campbell:Yeah, because they're vague, and I think that's why we don't. That's why we fail. I still think, realistically, most of us don't think we're going to continue with our resolution. We all have the same one, but we've done an entire podcast on goals. It's really more. That's why goals are so important. They're measurable, they're definable. There's an action. Holy shit, there's a moment. Did you guys just hear that?
Coach Dustin:It's taken RJ 60 years to think goals are important. I don't do goals. Oh, I can't wait to send this.
RJ Campbell:Coach Matt is going to love it when he hears that he just gave me a hard time this week. When did we do our book study for a group last week? It was like, well, we know, rj doesn't do goals.
Coach Dustin:Well, that's awesome. So that means we're wearing off to someone. But again, guys, this is going to be short. Yeah, right, I mean we're almost 15 minutes in. But this is what I want you to ask yourself is because you're preparing for a week and right now I'm going to assume there's a couple things happening? Right, it's you have a slower time. You're not as stressed this week at work. Right, because it's a slower time in business just slows down. So you may be stressed because you're at home more. Which different episode? Yet Ask yourself take time this next week. What do I want in 2024? Got it, check, wrote that down. What are the habits I need to create to have that, to get that to become that in 2024? And then my favorite question for all of those is always who do I have to become to have those habits? Okay, this episode went a little bit different than I thought it would, yeah, and yet that's really what we need to be thinking about right now, guys. Yeah, so scrap the resolution.
RJ Campbell:Yeah, let's go back to goals. What do we want to get done, who do we want to be and what habits do we have to develop to get there?
Coach Dustin:And if you don't like the word goals, it's just what do I want? What do you want? Last year, I started something with my wife where I toast her on December 31st a year from now. So this New Year's Eve, this December 31st 2023, I'm going to toast her, as it's December 31st 2024. And I literally say here's to the amazing year we have and list all of these accomplishments that we did in 2024, before the year even starts. And then I have hers in me, hers as well, and I'm telling you what that is. A powerful exercise, wow. Yeah, maybe I'll write a little blog and kind of a blueprint on what that looks like for everyone out there and post that in the free Facebook group, because that is a powerful. What is the next 12 months of your life look like? And then go cheers to making those happen.
RJ Campbell:Yeah, but then you see it already done, exactly, got to envision, which is super important. So is that it 15 minutes. I think this is it.
Coach Dustin:I hope you guys got a lot of out of this. I know we got a lot out of it talking about it, and there's different things that we're going to start doing. Guys, go ask those questions, go out and kill 2024. This truly is going to be the best year of your life, if you want it to be. I agree with that. So, guys, remember to join us at the free Facebook group, which you can do that at datupgroupcom. A lot of the information and the pieces of collateral we put out there we post right up there for free. So, just go free Facebook group, join us there, join the conversation. And then also, guys, remember to dat up, because the people who love you most deserve it.
RJ Campbell:I can't add anything more. There you go, guys, we will talk to you next year throughout.