Igniting Inner Fire: Balancing Life and Business Through Motivation, Micro Goals, and Habit Stacking

Welcome to another heartening conversation where we dissect the concept of motivation, and how the challenge for entrepreneurs and men to remain driven without setting specific goals. Through our journey as Balanced Business Dads, we'll share with you our personal insights on how identifying with healthy habits, or using micro goals, can keep that inner fire burning. Our discussion stretches across the critical pillars of life including faith, health, marriage, fatherhood, brotherhood, and business, offering you nuggets of wisdom on maintaining a balance and optimizing each aspect. Hear about one of our personal achievements of completing the Bible in a year, and how faith can serve as a strong motivator.

We then shift gears to the role of reflection, both on wins and losses, in our motivation landscape. Is over-analyzing wins helpful or harmful? We'll share our thoughts on this along with the importance of setting measurable goals. Here's a hint - Navy Seals have something to teach us about this! We'll also bring in insights from the book 'Atomic Habits' by James Clear, especially on the transformative power of habit stacking. As we wrap up, we extend an invitation for you to join us in the DAD UP COUNCIL, an environment that fosters personal growth. Gear up for an enlightening chat that promises to change the way you view motivation and goal setting. Connect with us, grow with us.

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Transcript

Voiceover: 0:01

Dads, do you want a thriving business that doesn't control you, a passionate marriage and kids that adore you? Do you want to grow deeper in your faith, be healthier both physically and mentally, build more meaningful relationships with your friends? Welcome to the Balanced Business Dad Podcast, where, in each episode, we dive into balancing and optimizing the six pillars of life Faith, health, marriage, fatherhood, brotherhood and business. And here are your hosts, pioneers of the Balanced Business Dad movement Dustin Hoag and RJ Campbell.

Coach Dustin: 0:36

What is going on, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Balanced Business. Dad, I'm your host, coach Dustin with me, as always, the seasoned, the distinguished Mr RJ Campbell. How are we doing?

RJ Campbell: 0:48

today, rj, I'm holding up my hands and doing things like people can see us. Well, they can.

Voiceover: 0:52

There's a camera right there there's a camera.

Coach Dustin: 0:54

There might be somebody on.

RJ Campbell: 0:54

YouTube. There could be somebody on YouTube that's actually watching this. I'm doing good, good Feeling like I have no goals and unmotivated to make myself healthy, happy and fit. We're going to talk about that. I wonder if we're going to talk about that today. Just throw it right out there.

Coach Dustin: 1:10

So well. First of all, the last couple of episodes. You know we've got to interview some experts and stuff like that, which I always love, and then I always like bringing it back to us to just having a conversation, because we're on this pursuit with you all, the pursuit of the balanced business, the pursuit to have it all and everything that matters, and one of the conversations that we've been having the last couple of days is a couple of things and we'll try to wrap it all together. But it's, how does a balanced business dad stay motivated without a goal? So, rj, tell us a little bit about why we're coming up with that and where this all came from.

RJ Campbell: 1:48

This came from just an innocent conversation, because they're always innocent until we make them not innocent, which almost always happens. No, we're just talking about I think I was just talking about riding my bicycle more. So what do you guys know? I'm a cyclist I use that term because that just sounds douchey but that's my form of exercise is riding a bike, and this summer I was riding a lot because I did a bike ride with a group of friends across the state of Missouri. I want to make sure you're healthy enough and fit enough anyway to do that.

RJ Campbell: 2:19

But once that was done, I'm still riding, but I'm not riding five days a week. Suddenly it's two days or three days, some weeks one day because I don't have a goal anymore. I mean, it was a requirement before. Mentally, if I don't do a lot of riding, I'm going to get out there and I'm going to fail and have to get in somebody's truck. I'm just going to haul me back across the state. So now, without a goal, it's seriously hard to get motivated. It's, you know, to suppose, to just say well, I just want to be in better shape. It takes more than that, I think. At least it does for me. That's what.

Coach Dustin: 2:53

I'm finding, I agree, and I think this takes a lot. So and it's, I Think this is almost more about health than anything else. Right, because in our business, yes, we have goals and we set goals, and we've talked about on other episodes that our goals are our boss, but those are always there, right, you don't necessarily hit that point and then you close down your business, right? Right, yeah, because that's your job. That's what you still have to do.

Coach Dustin: 3:18

There's a providing there's, there's a whole much that goes into the business aspect of things same with raising your kids and being married but your health, our health I Know I'm the same way. You know some of you have seen my journey to the fight story. Maybe I'll actually updo the documentary on this YouTube page as well. But we've seen all that where, once you hit that mountaintop, once you cross that finish line, then you stop. Yeah, so the question we've been talking about is do you always have to be striving and going and setting these, these challenges for yourself, or can you stay motivated and it just being a lifestyle of healthy or of health?

RJ Campbell: 4:00

and I think that varies by person. Yeah, I think there were people one of Dustin talked about his really good friends. So Seth is extremely fit, yes, ripped fit. He's a workout guy, I don't, he just does. I don't know that he has a goal other than just to be healthy and look good, but he stays motivated somehow because that's what he does. But you know, maybe that's because that's how he identifies himself.

Coach Dustin: 4:25

Not really sure we've talked about that before as well, identifying yourself. But it's interesting about Seth. Bringing Seth up is he will go through seasons of his health. Oh, I'm bulking, I'm cutting and all those you know. No offense to the meatheads, but what the meatheads say out there, right, you know. So certain seasons he'll start running again. Certain seasons he's lifting heavy again. You know, depending on what that is, and I don't know if there's a. So some micro goals, yeah, there's a goal around it.

RJ Campbell: 4:54

There's not a challenge around it, yeah, but it's almost a challenge, probably in his head. Yeah, this is self yeah, this is my cutting time. Yeah, so he changes his workout routine. So it is yeah. So yeah, it's a micro goal.

RJ Campbell: 5:06

Yeah, by the way, outside of just, it definitely pertains to health, it's no doubt about it. But this morning I came in celebrating a win to Dustin on my faith because I'm doing the Bible in one year. I'm about a month behind. A year is long, but I finished today the Old Testament yeah, in my Bible, in a year which, by the way, the Old Testament is really long because it's November and I'm just finally moving into the New Testament. So there's one that was an absolute goal. I've said for like three years I was gonna read the entire Bible and it wasn't. This year I really took it seriously, set that goal. I'm gonna miss by probably 30 days, making it at 12 months, but sure not going to quit. This isn't right. That's the only reason I'm getting through this, because I had that goal, the roadmap and Executing on it. So there's one had I not placed that goal, there's no way I would have just read the Bible in a year.

Coach Dustin: 5:58

But this, this is coming to me, guys.

Coach Dustin: 5:59

Oh boy, here it goes, here it goes yeah, with what you just said there, I'm a month behind, but that doesn't matter, I'm still gonna come with my goal. Yet when you were riding with your buddies across the state of Missouri, you couldn't be a month behind in your training. No, I would still be riding right now, right? So if we are, we're training, because Are we more accountable when other people are involved? If you were to read something and then talk about it every single week with that person Throughout the year and you guys were gonna finish revelations, that's the end of the Bible for the people who don't know, by the way, it's revelation.

RJ Campbell: 6:37

No, but we would finish at that exact same time, would you be a? Month behind? Absolutely not. You wouldn't, because now your goal has a time element. Mine didn't.

Voiceover: 6:48

It's a Bible in one year.

RJ Campbell: 6:49

It's a Bible in one year ish. I mean, if you would stay on track, it's a Bible in one year, right, had nobody holding me accountable to that timeline because I was doing it alone, not as part of a group and you knew that you could finish it afterwards.

Coach Dustin: 7:03

Correct you could not ride with your friends After they were done correct.

RJ Campbell: 7:09

I'm not ready, guys. I'm just gonna go do it in September, right, well, or October.

Coach Dustin: 7:13

I could not do the journey of the fight by myself Because there's a lot going on with that right. It was for me. You can't go run a marathon. You can go run 26.2 miles that's a marathon right Got it but you can't go run a marathon by yourself.

RJ Campbell: 7:30

Not a sanctioned marathon. Sure, yes, you could run the distance, but if you didn't train in time and you missed the St Louis marathon. Yeah, you're not doing the marathon, right you?

Coach Dustin: 7:39

missed it.

RJ Campbell: 7:40

I think there's something there and I think.

Coach Dustin: 7:42

I'm going to assume if we're taking a poll and there's two of us and we're both agree with it, we're not the only guys out there that need that deadline. This is interesting. This is a lot of episodes being put together that how a goal works is you set that deadline. That is the most crucial thing in a goal is setting the deadline.

RJ Campbell: 8:00

Without a doubt. When Dustin asked that all the time, yeah, when he's coaching, okay, good. When.

Coach Dustin: 8:07

Yeah, and setting that deadline and making it a specific deadline, and a lot of this started with and I'll just be very candid because I again I'm not standing on the mountain top I'm telling you the challenges I have right now. So two years ago today did you know that? By the way, no, today, two years ago, november 14th 2021, was the night of the fight I was 20 pounds. I weighed 20 pounds less than that I do today, and I've been.

Coach Dustin: 8:34

You know, I'm very big on what's called the law of reflection, which is by John Maxwell, and John states that you sometimes you just have to stop and reflect on where you've came from, what you did, how you did it really reflect, because that's how you know when you need, where you're going to get going and you can push yourself, et cetera. Well, what I've been doing wrong and yes, I do things wrong First time Is I've been reflecting my current state against my worst state, not my current state against my best state. I would be posting a picture right, because I do like the words of affirmation and sometimes, when you know how to get a word of affirmation, you put a selfie up there and show yourself looking better compared to you. Were you looking the worst, and I did that. All these people, oh, you look great, you look great, you look great.

Coach Dustin: 9:26

Well, the problem is I put a picture of me, of my worst compared to where I am today, and I was happy because of that progress, because everybody said I looked great. Yet if I would post the picture of where I was two years ago till today, it's not so great. Interesting, right? So, while we're reflecting and I do believe that you should really pay attention to you, know where you've came from, but don't hat yourself too much on the back because you're not at your worst anymore what do you think about that? I like it, that's it. That's all you got.

Coach Dustin: 10:03

Yeah, kind of bored with it.

RJ Campbell: 10:05

No, that is true. Yeah, so we are Falsely celebrating a win. Yeah, by looking at it that way.

Coach Dustin: 10:13

Right, we know comparisons to thief of all joy and yet we compare ourselves. But how many times?

RJ Campbell: 10:18

well, I'm not as bad as that guy, so I'm okay right, yeah, yeah, there was a line that I mentioned to Dustin this week which kind of comes into play here, but camera. So it's basically the point of it is don't overanalyze your wins and discount your losses. Point being in business, in health, when we overanalyze the wins, I mean by let's, let's celebrate and over. And how did I do that? How did I win? How did I get to that point? How did I get my company to this point? How did we make that sale?

RJ Campbell: 10:52

That's what we tend to want to do, and don't look at the losses so kind of. In this case, for you, even though you're selling, you are celebrating wins, you're, you're just, you are discounting the win of where you are now. You're looking falsely at where you were before. So you're kind, you're over analyzing the win, even though it's not a true win, because you're not comparing to where you really were correct. So that's what I mean by. That's a very convoluted thing, but that's what I mean by this when we get into don't overanalyze your wins. That because the losses are super important. That's that's where we learn is from our losses more than from our wins. But it's easy to discount those losses because they're not as much fun. Hey, it makes, because we we say we're better than we really are.

Coach Dustin: 11:35

So I think the takeaway here is and I learned this from Jocko willing and his books you know the Navy seal and the show Navy seals. I'm not gonna lie, but they always do what's the a, a, are the after action report after anything they did right and In that at a AR Jocko talks about and I'm gonna assume it's true. If it's not, I apologize, but I'm gonna assume it's true that they said what went right, what went wrong, Correct. So I believe heavily in celebrating a win, but then also ask yourself what would have happened if I would have done something different. Could I have gotten there faster? Could I have made more money? Could I have closed this better? Could I have actually lost 10 more pounds than this? Right, what could you have done better? While you're celebrating those wins, right, celebrate and then also ask yourself those questions Did I give it all? David Goggins, it's really all about that. You don't give it your all. You never know what it is. So always ask that question Right.

Coach Dustin: 12:38

And I think that's gonna help in this in the law of reflection. So this is kind of two, two subjects here. It's a how do we stay motivated, and B when we're celebrating our wins, make sure we're celebrating the correct wins and we've talked about this.

RJ Campbell: 12:50

So we've talked about goals a lot lately. We've had a few few episodes where we've touched on goals, but this is one where we're seeing firsthand I don't have a goal anymore. How do I stay motivated? Yeah, and that's what? Just kind of popped up. It's like, wow, yeah, cuz I don't have something. January 1st is going to roll around and 93.7% of people are gonna have a New Year's resolution. Do you know? That's an actual statistics, is it? Well, it's an actual number, but it's a total bullshit statistic Because, remember, 92% of all statistics are made up or exaggerated. Yes, yeah, you can use that any way you want to, but we're gonna have all of these New Year's resolutions. Probably most of them are going to be health related, but they're not going to have a specific goal and it's not going to be measurable by time, right? People are just going to say, oh, I want to get healthier. Maybe they'll put a number. I want to lose 10 pounds, I'm gonna start going to the gym and by the second week in February they're all done.

Coach Dustin: 13:52

I'm gonna say by the third week of January, if you're a gym guy.

RJ Campbell: 13:54

I think you're probably right. February the gym is empty again, but it's not so they they may have had a measurable to it, but they sure didn't put anything in time to it or had accountability of other people.

Coach Dustin: 14:07

So James Clear, I believe, is the author of Atomic Habits, which is kind of something you're talking about there, when you're talking about resolutions and maybe I won't go too far into this because it's probably just a whole nother episode yeah, it's, when you're setting this habit, you can't be like I'm gonna work out for 365 days and then stop looking at it. Part of it sometimes is I'm just gonna go to the gym and touch the doorknob One step. That's the main, that's the habit, or litter, I'm going to put my running shoes on. I didn't say I was going to run today, but I'm going to my running shoes on. Hmm, right, so it's called habit stack. We'll really get into that. We'll do another episode on that.

Coach Dustin: 14:42

It's a great book. I think we're actually going to start that book in the data council book club in January is what I'm thinking. But yeah, it's one of those things that we have to. We really have to look into when we're we're planning these goals and what it is and it's interesting. We just have to. I think we have to keep on creating challenges for ourselves. I would agree I don't think I'm going to go fight someone again Not going to happen but I want to look at something.

RJ Campbell: 15:08

So yeah, let's find that, yeah, I need to put something down. Yeah, yeah, it's. Can you? Some people can, maybe, maybe nobody can. That was a really our discussion this morning. Can you stay motivated without a goal, without a challenge, without a challenge?

Coach Dustin: 15:24

That's a good point. That's what it is, because it's with other people and there's a definitive date. I'm running the marathon because it's the day of the St Louis marathon. I'm not running 26.2 miles, I'm riding with my friends across the state of Missouri. They have to be there and it has to be during that scheduled time, right? So there's a lot that has to go with that and what we have to really look into that. What is that for us?

RJ Campbell: 15:47

So is that why, when we are both in the sales world, you constantly had sales challenges.

Coach Dustin: 15:52

Absolutely.

RJ Campbell: 15:54

Hey, whoever sells the most widgets in this time period gets whatever. Brand new car. Day off, coffee mug yeah.

Coach Dustin: 16:01

Chrysler Cordoba, whatever it was going to be, and because we both come from the sales world. Is that why we're wired this way?

RJ Campbell: 16:08

Wow so my question.

Coach Dustin: 16:09

We were used to yeah, so the questions all the other business dads out there are you wired this way? Maybe we're just completely odd, I don't know because.

RJ Campbell: 16:16

I love to carry this conversation on more. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, has it just tainted us that way? Because we're used to having one challenge after another thrown in front of you in the sales world? I don't know. I would argue no, because I would like to think I'm normal.

Coach Dustin: 16:31

But, man, there's going to be challenges thrown at you every day, so every day in all six pillars.

RJ Campbell: 16:36

We keep saying this one hits so much on health, because that's really where we think of these journeys. But you can see where I just equated it to faith by that challenge.

Coach Dustin: 16:44

Well, and I mean, let's let's talk about parenting. You're going to have it. Every day there's going to be a parent challenge come up, but I think is what it is. It's again. There's no, that deadline. I have to show up as a parent today because after this day I don't get to anymore. But should we start thinking that way, because those days can be taken away from us?

RJ Campbell: 17:03

Hmm, yeah, yeah, that one's hard because, it's hard to pretend that I just won't be there tomorrow. Mentally we, you know, we always say live it like it's your last day. But that's really difficult to do. But that's that. Those type of challenges are harder to find. It is Really hard in things like your marriage or with your kids, or even with your buddies. Those are hard, Really difficult. Where do you put a time measurable challenge to being better in those things?

Voiceover: 17:29

Yeah.

RJ Campbell: 17:29

Hmm, yeah, this is kind of a, it's just us just rambling about this because it just all just popped up in a conversation this morning, so we're like, oh, let's just, let's talk about this with the guys out there. Love to hear some feedback on it, yeah.

Coach Dustin: 17:42

But the last thing. So we're getting ready to have our monthly mastermind with the, the data up council that we have, the private group that we have, but it is. This episode is going to be aired the week of Thanksgiving, so I want to ask you right now and again I'm not going to put you in the spot if you have nothing, but I think you will. Guys, gratitude is so important, so so important. So, as you're going into this week after you listen to this, if you are listening to it the week of Thanksgiving, what is that? What are you thankful for? Are you coming from a place of gratitude this week and going forward? If not, go back and find the episode. We've talked many times about the gratitude journal, but what are?

Coach Dustin: 18:21

you thankful for. Come from this gratitude place right now After, if you can turn this off and really think of man, what am I thankful for? Think it's going to help that mindset.

RJ Campbell: 18:30

You have the rest of the month to be grateful. This is the month of gratitude.

Coach Dustin: 18:35

I challenge you. You have the rest of your life to be grateful.

RJ Campbell: 18:37

Well, you really do, but it's more measurable if we give it to a month. There's that challenge again. There's that challenge, just yeah. Just really think about that. Focus on gratitude for the rest of the month, yeah, and then we have one for next month.

Coach Dustin: 18:50

We do, we already thought of that a lot. We thought about that a lot.

RJ Campbell: 18:53

We'll talk about it as we get closer to December, we know what we'll also challenge people to think about for the month of December.

Coach Dustin: 18:59

Yeah, so cool Guys. Of course you can always join us at the conversation. Just go to datagroupcom. You can join the free Facebook group right there. We'd love to hear from you guys as well. You can DM both RJ and I. He can put our socials down there, who we are, so you can reach out to us, add us all that fun stuff. But we really like to carry this conversation on. We are looking to grow the data council. It is, you know, a private mastermind of men doing life with each other to grow. You know we looked at this and when we were really putting the council and all of the mastermind together, the men in there know it's not going to be easy and they want growth and they're ready to get it. So if that's, you please reach out. We'd love to chat more about it. Absolutely Cool Guys. We'll talk to you next week.

RJ Campbell: 19:49

And we're out.