Are you ready to tap into the power of brotherhood and accountability? Welcome to the transformative experience of our third Dad Up retreat. This episode is packed with insights gathered in the idyllic setting of South Central Missouri, where 12 men came together, leaving the distractions of the world behind, to focus on self-improvement and camaraderie. We'll unveil the profound change we've observed in just 48 hours post-retreat, as we navigated the path to a thriving business, physical and mental health, and a balanced life.
Discover the essence of 'be a dad, not a dick', a powerful mantra urging us to face our internal struggles head-on. We'll also delve into the intriguing concept of a passionate marriage, a notion that varies significantly for everyone. Moreover, we’ll discuss the role of accountability in propelling us towards our goals. We welcome you to join us in the Dad Up Facebook group, a sanctuary that fosters support and connection. Brace yourself for a healthy dose of growth, brotherhood, and fun in this must-listen episode!
Join ~300 other Dads like you by joining The Balanced Business Dad's Facebook group here: dadupgroup.com
Check out our website at: thebalancedbusinessdad.com
Are you ready to tap into the power of brotherhood and accountability? Welcome to the transformative experience of our third Dad Up retreat. This episode is packed with insights gathered in the idyllic setting of South Central Missouri, where 12 men came together, leaving the distractions of the world behind, to focus on self-improvement and camaraderie. We'll unveil the profound change we've observed in just 48 hours post-retreat, as we navigated the path to a thriving business, physical and mental health, and a balanced life.
Discover the essence of 'be a dad, not a dick', a powerful mantra urging us to face our internal struggles head-on. We'll also delve into the intriguing concept of a passionate marriage, a notion that varies significantly for everyone. Moreover, we’ll discuss the role of accountability in propelling us towards our goals. We welcome you to join us in the Dad Up Facebook group, a sanctuary that fosters support and connection. Brace yourself for a healthy dose of growth, brotherhood, and fun in this must-listen episode!
Join ~300 other Dads like you by joining The Balanced Business Dad's Facebook group here: dadupgroup.com
Check out our website at: thebalancedbusinessdad.com
Dads, do you want a thriving business that doesn't control you, a passionate marriage and kids that adore you? Do you want to grow deeper in your faith, be healthier both physically and mentally, build more meaningful relationships with your friends? Welcome to the Balance Business Dad podcast, where, in each episode, we dive into balancing and optimizing the six pillars of life Faith, health, marriage, fatherhood, brotherhood and business. And here are your hosts, pioneers of the Balance Business Dad movement Dustin Hoag and RJ Campbell.
Coach Dustin:What is going on, guys? Welcome to another episode of the Balance Business. Dad, I'm your host, Coach Dustin with me, as always, the very distinguished, the very seasoned Mr RJ Campbell. Rj, how are you? Life is good man.
RJ Campbell:Isn't that what I say every week? You do? Yeah, every day is a holiday.
Coach Dustin:Well, that is good. I don't know about you, but I am still extremely fired up because what we are, what? 48 hours since we got home from the Dad Up retreat that we just had this past weekend the third Dad Up retreat, and I am on fire from it it was unbelievable, it really was.
RJ Campbell:It was everything we had hoped these retreats would be, and more.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, it really was.
RJ Campbell:I don't want to oversell it, but it was pretty amazing.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, so we figured on today's episode we're going to go over the lessons we learned because, again, we're not yes, we're facilitating the retreats and we're also learning at the retreats the whole time as well. Yeah, that's just kind of what we're doing there, and we just wanted to cover what some of the lessons and the key takeaways were. But first I want to set the scene. Isn't that what it's called? Set the scene?
RJ Campbell:I'll insert music here. Yeah, probably the theme song from Deliverance.
Coach Dustin:There you go. Yeah, so we have these retreats, or this is the third retreat. They're not always going to be there, but right now they were at the campground that I own in South Central Missouri. So, first of all, it's fall, it's beautiful, leaves are changing colors. I mean, it's just an awesome, peaceful place to be. And we had 12 men, 12 dads well, business dads embark on this journey, where they get there on Friday, friday afternoon and we leave on Sunday. And the cool thing about the campground which I love until I don't love it is there's not a lot of cell service. So it's not like you can be on your phone playing a lot. It's not like you can be scrolling through TikTok. You can't be really texting that much because you pretty much have to stand on one leg, hold your front up in the air and hope for service right?
RJ Campbell:You can do what you can do with one bar.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, kind of yeah, and so that's kind of the scene. It was also what 43 at night and 77 degrees during the day. So that's the scene. The 12 men that had been there all had known each other from previous retreats, which is good, and I also like new people there. I guess there was a couple of new people there. So there was a lot of just jumping right back in, kind of talking, not the awkward get to know each other stage, which we worked through, that as well, but immediately it started with the brotherhood and the bonding of hey, how's it been that kind of thing. And then next thing, you know, there's challenges being put on the table that I didn't even know that these guys were going through. There were some new ones and it was totally blown away. But immediately you feel comfortable to bring up the challenges you're going through and we're not going to go into details, obviously. But what RJ and I both believe is these men have been waiting to talk about this because they needed to for a while now.
RJ Campbell:There is no doubt that on two of them, they were just waiting for the right moment. They had been waiting, obviously, for some time. They were waiting for the right moment at the retreat to just boom and let it out there and things that they felt comfortable, talking with a group of other dads, other husbands, in a secluded setting. It's amazing, and we say this after everyone this is our third retreat. They are building into everything we had imagined as and one person used this word and I like it this is a ministry and that's what it is like at these events. We can't wait to do this again. We have to wait all the way to May to do it again. Man, we'd love to have two of them, because we limit it to 15 guys. I think we'll fill that very quickly again and maybe we just have to add another.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, and that's kind of where I'm thinking with it, because it's so powerful. I've gotten texts, we've been back. Thank you, I needed this. I had that conversation with my spouse, I had that conversation with my employee, whatever the situation was going through, because nothing's off the table and yeah, so they're already seeing changes in their life. And it's been 48 hours.
RJ Campbell:But let's not forget that 80% of this was a hell of a lot of fun. Yeah, absolutely this wasn't two days of all of us just complaining about the things in our lives and challenges. Yes, challenges were brought up that you can talk about to other guys, but there was a lot of fun.
Coach Dustin:A lot of fun, a lot of good brotherhood, something that you don't get anymore, especially as a busy business dad who tried to say that five times a day. A busy, balanced business dad Well, that's a litteration. You just don't get to hang out with your buddies like that as much as you would like to. So there was a lot of that, with a lot of growth. There were sessions during the day where we went into a thriving business that doesn't control you. Based off the survey, that's what people really wanted to lean into. Then we went into being healthier physically and mentally, which now I'm going to say we're going to start saying some of the lessons that we learned from it in the quotes. So, healthier physically and mentally the quote that came out of this and I absolutely love RJ, if you want to read that, so I don't butcher it.
RJ Campbell:Yeah, and I wrote it down because I don't want to butcher it even more. Physical health makes it so you're around longer. Mental health makes people want to be around you longer.
Coach Dustin:Loved that and how true is that. We know the physical side of things. We're going to be around longer, we're going to live life to the fullest and all the positive things that come with living a healthy life, just having good mental health. People want to be around you and I was like, wow, that's kind of hits the nail on the head there, doesn't it?
RJ Campbell:Yeah, these are just things that are thrown out by these dudes. They never know when they're coming.
Coach Dustin:So physical, mental health. That was the next session. And then we have the balance sheet, which you've heard us talk about. This. This is something that we give to the people in the council, where they fill it out and it's an assessment, and we recommend us doing this quarterly. But at the retreats they get the opportunity to read their balance sheet in front of all the other men and why they're grading themselves or doing this or what's happening. This is good, this is bad and isn't that powerful?
RJ Campbell:It was powerful Because then you had immediately we had other guys, members of the council, that were there step up and say I'll get with you on Monday on that, yeah.
Coach Dustin:And we're gonna. We're gonna do accountability check-ins weekly to help make sure that you hit your goal out of this. Yeah Right, that's what the council is all about, and that's what there's a retreats are all about. So then, after that, south Central Missouri has beautiful rivers, so we got to go hang out on the river. I mean, it was just an absolute beautiful day out there, and they get to sit around a fire again. So that's the scene. Now let's talk about the lessons, and there is one word that came from almost every session we talked about. What is that word? Presence. Think about that. Dads, if you are present, would that solve a lot of your challenges? If you were present in your marriage more, your president work more. If you were present with your kids more, what do you think?
RJ Campbell:present your faith. Yeah, yeah, that one was big and it was. It was not intentional. This just came up in so many conversations as we were going through things, the line that was with your kids, but you know they'd rather have your presence, not your presence. Yeah, which is the hard to know the difference, because those words sound the same. But I think you know what I mean right, yeah.
Coach Dustin:And then I mean but your spouse is the same way, absolutely. You know, when you're lying there, either your spouse or you were on your deathbed or they ever going to talk about the house you, the big house you had. They might talk about the home you had, but not the house. Right, those are two different things. Yeah, cars you drove, or how much money you made. I Don't think so.
RJ Campbell:No presents came up a lot, yeah, a whole lot in conversations, and then you just have all these guys chiming in on it and talking about it and challenging each other with it and and a Lot of it was just revelation too, not that it was you know something grand that was changing your life instantly. But you're like, damn, that's right. Yeah, boy, if I was just more present when I'm doing that. Yeah, pretty cool, that was that one. There were actually two words there's another word came up a lot.
RJ Campbell:What's that accountability? Oh, because that's what we're there. For me, this, really a lot of this turned into a mastermind weekend, especially at night around the fire and Boy, there was a lot of accountability, of guys taking accountability for somebody else or to help them with it. Like I said before, somebody is going through things in their balance sheet. Another one of the brothers raises his hand and said I'm gonna reach out to you on Monday, we'll put this on the calendar, I'll help you with it and I will hold you to it and we'll work up a plan. That happened numerous times like wow, that's why we're all here. I was. That's the big thing about this council. It's this council of brotherhood. The brotherhood is huge because that offers so much and what was the lesson on accountability?
Coach Dustin:Remember that quote.
RJ Campbell:I also have to use my cheat sheets, so I don't screw that one up.
Coach Dustin:You can't have accountability without accounting and we've talked about this before, but I will reiterate it because it's one of the things it's what are you keeping track of? What are you wanting to get better at, and are you keeping track of it Right? So, food is the easiest thing to say. So, if you want to eat healthier, are you keeping track of it? Are you accounting for it? One of the big ones, especially in a thriving business that doesn't control you, is are you accounting for your time? Are you holding your time accountable, right? So again, just these little lessons that came up through out the weekend. There was a theme for all of it and which you know as obviously, we made presence one of the core values of a being a balanced business, dad, and we didn't say the word presence at all when we got there. This is just something that came out the whole time. So being present in every single pillar, it's going to increase it.
RJ Campbell:There were a lot of other lines that came up, like what Be a dad, don't be a dick. Hmm, I'd have just gotten an explicit rating on this one.
Coach Dustin:Well, it's interesting if you guys listen to the episode that we had with dr Eddie Weller. He said this story because he actually said that to someone, yep, which obviously great for him to do that. Yet how many times have we needed to hear that All of us, all of us right, and you can be a great dad, and you've also been a dick to your wife and your kids before? I'm just, let's be honest, right, because you're frustrated, you're something, so you were a dick now. So let's stop doing that.
RJ Campbell:Let's be a dad, that's a great one that got used to. Once that one came out, it was issues that, or just don't be a dick.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, I don't think I would ever wear that on a shirt now probably not, and yet I would like to own the shirt that says that.
RJ Campbell:At least have that on a hat.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, to wear in certain places. So that's the other one. What was the other one? Address your shit.
RJ Campbell:Tell me more. That was actually. Somebody's wife said that to them. Mm-hmm, that just said hey, I'm not gonna let you do this. Address your shit.
Coach Dustin:How many times do we need to hear that? I mean, that could almost when we were one of those bracelets you wear?
RJ Campbell:That's our. What would Jesus do?
Coach Dustin:bracelets been replaced right, I mean think about a y yes yeah, a ys bracelet, because when you address it, then you fix it. So because I don't know what that means with an explicit rating. So I'm just gonna say, when you address your stuff, yeah, you have stuff right now. Dad, you're lying if you say that you don't have stuff going on, because you do. Let's address it, let's fix it, let's move on with it, let's develop a plan around it. Let's dad up around your stuff.
RJ Campbell:We don't normally curse on this podcast, but when you have 12 guys for a couple of days at a campground, it happens, yeah, it starts coming out. Yeah, absolutely so we couldn't help it. I probably should have said stuff there, but I think all the way through on that one.
Coach Dustin:That's all right. So that's the scene. And then on Sunday, the session we did was passionate marriage, and what I loved about this one is not One person's definition of passionate marriage was the same. It was not, I mean, totally off the wall. From watching TV together to Shared experiences. That was a big theme for everyone. It was passion equals shared experiences to Vacations, to, obviously, sex, to intimacy yeah, I mean so all of that was in there, but not one person's definition was the same, and I think that's so crucial to understand. Our goal is to have a passionate marriage. Our goal for you is to have a passionate marriage, but to get that passionate marriage, you have to define it Right. That was the lesson there that was the lesson.
RJ Campbell:How do you what is a passionate marriage to you, and you as a husband, need to understand what it means to you? And then you have to have that conversation with your wife, unless you have, but it's a great one to ask.
Coach Dustin:Yeah for anything, and that lesson really should be spread out right, because when you define it, you can achieve it. That could be a shirt to that could be a shirt.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, we might sell and start selling shirts like a lie. No, so that was the lesson from there. But then we talked about accountability. How it came up? We're really kind of giving you the whole synopsis, but we asked everyone around there before our next mastermind call, because the people that are at the retreat, everyone that that was there this time, are a part of the data counseling. The mastermind is how, what are we holding you accountable for until the next call, right, which is about a month away? So on that next call, you have to give us an update of what you're going to say and how you moved forward. Right? What are you gonna data up between now and the next call?
RJ Campbell:And the list has already been distributed. The list out today to all the council members With what they're gonna work on, so it's it's out there. It's public to each of us. Share it to all of us. We'll talk about it in about a month. What have you done to get there?
Coach Dustin:and that's real.
RJ Campbell:That's what a mastermind is, yeah, and that's what Sunday was. Saturday was much more. I wouldn't say it's necessary teaching, because that's not what we do, because, dustin, I don't know everything, but it was. It was a guided, guided. Yeah, it's somewhat of an instruction, but a discussion, a guided discussion on two of them yeah, thriving business and then Better physical and mental health. Sunday morning, sitting around a campfire after breakfast because it was cold in the mornings, we start to have the discussion on a path of having a passion to marriage, and it was no longer a guided discussion that way. It was an hour, at least say good hour, more than an hour of a mastermind, of these dozen guys talking, analyzing, teaching each other, throwing out nuggets the real value of a mastermind.
Coach Dustin:And I am willing to put money on it that out of everybody's balance sheet that we went over, everyone that is going to be in the mastermind and leans into the retreat, leans into the calls, will have a better balance sheet in six months when we're back there in May.
RJ Campbell:Yes, if not, they're out. They're not trying hard enough.
Coach Dustin:And that's what this is all about is growing together. You know there was a few people that were unsure if they were going to come to the retreat. Again, I'm not going to say names, I'm going to say what was going on and I wasn't going to allow that because I know they needed it. As a council member, you know we've talked, I've coached with them. I know they needed it and my only line was to them is I need you to stop doing life by yourself. Start doing life with other people that have common goals, common values, common morals, and let's dad up together.
RJ Campbell:And they showed up, and they showed up In a big way and it works. Last minute, it's a great thing. Night before, two nights before Boom, get notices from these guys. I'm going to be there. You're right, I need it. Got to do it, got to be with the brothers. Get with council members, spend the weekend getting my stuff right.
Coach Dustin:Yeah. So, Dads, we just wanted to give you an insight of what a data retreat looks like. You know there's going to be changing. We might be adding a day, so it'd be three nights instead of two nights Next time. We have to play with that. Yet if would love for you to check it out, I would love for you to check out at least the free Facebook group that we have. You can find that at dataupgroupcom. Just enter your information. You'll go straight into the Facebook group from there and join these conversations where you don't have to do life by yourself, when you get to have a group of like-minded individuals help and challenge you in any of the things that you have going on.
RJ Campbell:And you'll see some pictures, yeah, from the retreat Guys that already posted them. Some stories, yeah. Yeah, you see what it's like in beautiful Lesterville Missouri in the month of October and I'm telling you it's a beautiful time to be in Lesterville Missouri. It is, it really is.
Coach Dustin:So, dads, that's what we have Again. This is going to be a short episode. We just wanted to explain to you what the retreat looks like. We would love to see you there. If not there, at least join the free Facebook group at dataupgroupcom. And until then, data, and we'll talk to you soon.
RJ Campbell:Data we're out, thank you.