Do you feel the tug-of-war between your entrepreneurial spirit and the challenges of fatherhood? Let's cut through the confusion together, as we break down the nebulous idea of balancing business and being a dad. Drawing from our semi-annual Balanced Business Dad retreats, we explore the power of brotherhood and collective wisdom. We examine the stark difference between being employed and self-employment, and shed light on a crucial tool to navigate this difference - goal setting.
Ever thought about how setting goals can serve as a compass directing you towards your desired future self? We delve into this fascinating concept, breaking down goals into manageable tasks and highlighting the ripple effect that focusing on one area of life can have, raising all other areas in tandem. And remember, these insights are not just for businesses, but your household too! We wrap up this enriching conversation by inviting all you business dads to join our DadUp group for a chance to continue this empowering dialogue. As we always say, let's strive to be better tomorrow.
Join ~300 other Dads like you by joining The Balanced Business Dad's Facebook group here: dadupgroup.com
Check out our website at: thebalancedbusinessdad.com
Do you feel the tug-of-war between your entrepreneurial spirit and the challenges of fatherhood? Let's cut through the confusion together, as we break down the nebulous idea of balancing business and being a dad. Drawing from our semi-annual Balanced Business Dad retreats, we explore the power of brotherhood and collective wisdom. We examine the stark difference between being employed and self-employment, and shed light on a crucial tool to navigate this difference - goal setting.
Ever thought about how setting goals can serve as a compass directing you towards your desired future self? We delve into this fascinating concept, breaking down goals into manageable tasks and highlighting the ripple effect that focusing on one area of life can have, raising all other areas in tandem. And remember, these insights are not just for businesses, but your household too! We wrap up this enriching conversation by inviting all you business dads to join our DadUp group for a chance to continue this empowering dialogue. As we always say, let's strive to be better tomorrow.
Join ~300 other Dads like you by joining The Balanced Business Dad's Facebook group here: dadupgroup.com
Check out our website at: thebalancedbusinessdad.com
Dads, do you want a thriving business that doesn't control you, a passionate marriage and kids that adore you? Do you want to grow deeper in your faith, be healthier both physically and mentally, build more meaningful relationships with your friends? Welcome to the Balanced Business Dad Podcast, where, in each episode, we dive into balancing and optimizing the six pillars of life Faith, health, marriage, fatherhood, brotherhood and business. And here are your hosts, pioneers of the Balanced Business Dad movement Dustin Hoag and RJ Campbell.
Coach Dustin:Hey, hey, hey, and welcome to another episode of the Balanced Business. Dad, I'm your host, coach Dustin with me, as always, the very seasoned, the very distinguished Mr RJ Campbell. Rj, how are we doing today? Seasoned and distinguished, seasoned and distinguished, absolutely, I'm feeling good. What is going on in your?
R. J. Campbell:world, sir, same thing that's going on in yours.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, we are getting ready for the. Is it bi-annual or semi-annual?
R. J. Campbell:Semi-annual. Semi-annual Pet peeve of mine, by the way, as he does not shout that I would have another pet peeve in my life is the difference between semi-annual and bi-annual.
Coach Dustin:Anyway, tomorrow, from when we are recording, this is the Balanced Business Dad retreat, so we are getting that set up. We are going to be embark on a weekend journey with 15 other guys down at the campground I own and it's a pretty amazing time. So these retreats are really two of my favorite times of the year to get together with these guys and really grow and learn and lean into each other for fellowship and brotherhood and just a damn good time, honestly.
R. J. Campbell:It is, and we limit these retreats to 15 guys on purpose, so that we can, you know. I mean, it's a good number because it's not too big. We can have great conversation, people get to know each other. These guys don't all know each other before coming to the retreat. We do two of them a year. We had, you know, that was always a concern when we started. Well, can we get 15 guys to show up for this? We'll wait for a weekend of Friday through a Sunday, the mid-Missouri to a campground.
Coach Dustin:Beautiful campground by the way, it's special.
R. J. Campbell:We may have to add more. We do two a year, it's yeah. I mean we're going to promote the next one that'll be in the spring and who knows what we'll do, but it's beautiful to see 16 men coming together for something like this. Yeah, absolutely, it's pretty cool.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, so that's what's going on in our world. This episode that we're about to embark on I'm excited about because we get to kind of throw RJ under the bus. Maybe a little bit I'm tingling with trepidation, but it is a conversation that we had yesterday. Remember this show, what we're doing here is all about the journey of a balanced business stat right To the journey of getting better tomorrow than we are today, and so we want to share what's literally going on in our world, because we haven't made it. We're working on making it, if that makes sense. So yesterday we have in one of our businesses we share an office space, actually where our studio is and we were in the conversation of different things and again, to throw RJ under the bus, he was like I know I need to do this, but I'm not doing these tasks, I don't know what to do, and he was having a moment which was one of those moments.
Coach Dustin:That's a great way to explain it. I wasn't going to say that, but he was and it was really annoying. But what? Rj's journey not to talk for you, but RJ's journey as a entrepreneur is earlier on the path in mine is obviously I've been self-employed for over a decade now and you've been self-employed for a couple years now. Correct, right? So there's different things that you learn along the way, and one of them, in my opinion, is when you work at a job corporate America even as a executive in corporate America you still have a job with tasks that someone else is expecting you to do. There's a boss for a lack of a better word that is giving you those tasks. Right, maybe you have some freedom in there, but they're giving you those tasks.
R. J. Campbell:Would you agree with that? I would agree. Somebody has expectations, right? No matter what level you are, there is somebody that has expectations for you to get something done.
Coach Dustin:Correct and when those expectations go away what happens?
R. J. Campbell:You have no don't know what the hell to do. I've spent 35 years of people telling me what to do Right.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, nothing happens right.
R. J. Campbell:There's nobody.
Coach Dustin:There's no expectations anymore, just spinning circles. And so what we I was talking to him with, and then we'll let you talk here in a second is, since I've been self-employed, I've always said I have a boss and that boss is a killer. And no, it's not my wife, although there's a part of that in there Definitely. Yet my goals are my boss, because I set this vision, this goal, this accomplishment, whatever you want to call it, but I set this goal and there's tasks for me to hit that goal. So therefore, that goal is what I have to answer to on a daily basis. You say you don't set goals.
R. J. Campbell:We have talked about that before. Yeah, I have never been a goal person. Yeah, even in all my years in business, I would make up stupid goals because the companies would require some type of goals and as you went higher up the hierarchy, they expect them to be better, real goals. I just made them better. Stupid goals, right, more stupid, or, if we want to be redundant. So I mean they were goals, but I did not look at them every day as something to use as a roadmap and a guide for what I needed to do Now, hanging around with all these entrepreneurs that are so goal-driven. Another thing I wish my 20-year-old future self to go back to the previous podcast had told me yeah, do goals One. Go to college and get a degree in something you care about we talked about that and actually use goals. Yeah, yeah, never did.
Coach Dustin:So, now that we're working through that with you, do you see the importance of having that goal to give you the activity you need to be doing on a day in and day out basis? I do.
R. J. Campbell:There's a big light bulb. Tell us more about that. But literally from yesterday, as I'm spinning in circles trying to think of all these things that need to do, yeah, and when Dustin described it that way, as your goal is your boss, it's written down and goals don't have to be the craziest thing and the most complex things. It's what do you want to get done in. You know we were just talking about the next three months and then 2024.
R. J. Campbell:Yeah, if you've really and then I really saw it if you care about that goal, if it's real and I don't mean realistic, if it's just real, not just something stupid you put down to appease somebody above you and it's on a piece of paper, you see it, that does become your boss. Okay, now I know what I need to be doing, because there are so many things that can come at you during the day. When you're on your own businesses. You do find sometimes you're just spinning in circles. Me, I become very task oriented, because that's kind of the world I came from. I came from a very production, operational world, so it's very task driven. So that's what I start looking for.
Coach Dustin:Tasks and when there are no tasks, because you have to give yourself those tasks. Right that I'm spinning and whining.
R. J. Campbell:And whining, oh, totally whining.
Coach Dustin:It was a wine fest, for sure.
R. J. Campbell:But yeah, then you just feel lost At least I do because then I don't have. You know you're finished your tasks, now what's that next thing? A salesperson would say go knock on doors. But then they're like oh yeah, what do we need to be doing?
Coach Dustin:Well, if you had your goals for the next three months or the next year, Well, I think one of the things goals does, besides become your boss, which it does is it can and I'm reading this book Be your Future Self by Dr Hardy again but what it's doing is that goal is connecting you to your future self.
R. J. Campbell:Where do you want to be what you want?
Coach Dustin:to be Exactly, and although the goal might not answer and this is kind of going to a coaching moment for RJ when you set a goal for whatever we're talking about right now, it's not going to tell you oh, the goal set, these are the tasks I should be working on, right, right, it's correct. But what it's going to do is it's going to open up your mind to figure out the task Right now. Your mind and again, this is that razz we've talked about a couple of times your mind's not open up to figuring out these tasks Because your mind's not opened up to that future self, to that future version, to get what, whatever it may be, that you want, because you haven't said what you wanted. Really, a goal is just to say what you want.
R. J. Campbell:In my opinion, this is the stuff I hear him, you know, coaching on all the time when we're sharing an office and I'm like, dang, that stuff's a good. Yeah, I wish I had one of those.
Coach Dustin:So now the question to throw you on the spot what are you gonna do? How are you going to If you believe it and you don't have to, but if you do believe it, what, what? How were you going to change to implement this?
R. J. Campbell:do goals that mean something. Okay, so we literally would have. Now we're talking about that, so we're getting into something Dustin knows somewhat of the answer to. We have the big weekend, you know, our big retreat coming up. Dustin and I will go be going there early and things set up, but we're going to have a lot of hours before people arrive. Yeah, maybe have a cocktail, but that's the time we're going to spend on that.
R. J. Campbell:Yeah all right, some goal development. We've talked about goals for our businesses. But, yeah, I'm going to utilize Dustin as coach. Dustin Mm-hmm, all right, we're gonna put together some goals, which the goals then lead to that roadmap. That's the way I see it. The goal doesn't tell you how to do it, but then it lets you see the roadmap. Okay, that's what I need to be working on. That's where I need to get to. These are the tasks.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, I like tasks and the roadmap doesn't tell you the goal either, because you have to have that goal to figure out A map. Right, you're old, so you used to have those map. Things in your car still have maps. I've seen them. No, it's. My phone tells me exactly how to go. It's a beautiful thing, but you guys used to have to open this big thing. Oh yeah, right, couldn't fit on the dashboard now, but that map didn't tell you where to go until you knew where you wanted to go, correct?
R. J. Campbell:Right the way. I have like three of those in the bags of my motorcycle because there are times where you will be out in the Middle of nowhere and have no cell phone coverage. It happens. It's nice to have a paper map. Plus, it lets you visualize the big picture. I don't use them all the time, but there's something cool about paper map. And okay, if you get a fold, the back up to where it started, man, that's a feeling of accomplishment.
Coach Dustin:So anyway, so we're gonna disagree on that part.
R. J. Campbell:But yeah, so you're right, the map doesn't tell you anything if you don't know the destination Exactly, just a big picture of squiggly lines.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, and that's what I believe. What I saw your winefest yesterday was a Big piece of paper with squiggly lines correct.
R. J. Campbell:God, I wish my friend Jerry listened to the podcast. Jerry happens to be a woman, probably does not listen, but I ride bicycles with her a lot, have for years. And man, does she make fun of my whining when we're riding like when it's when you were I used to, I don't know, that's more when I was a beginner you get a really, really hard windy day and you're just hammering into the wind and working hard, but you're going four miles an hour because the wind so freakin bad. Yeah, that's when she would laugh, because I would just whine for an hour Because you chose to do it exactly well. Also, she heard me because she was behind me drafting off of me Smarter than I am too. That's why she finished higher than I did in high school, but so did everybody else.
Coach Dustin:So again back to this. This is the journey of a balanced business dad. So for the dads out there in business or getting into business, and it really you should I don't like the word should, but you Intend to set goals in your household too. Right, because where do you want to be? Because we're getting this goal is connecting us to our future self. What is my future self? Want my business to be? What we're? Right, we want a thriving business that doesn't control us, one of the the key things we're looking for as a balanced business dad. What does that mean? Right, and then we just go figure out the task, because, once again, once that goal is set, the tasks come a lot easier very true.
R. J. Campbell:It's interesting how much Dustin and I talk about the thriving business that doesn't control you, where your business is the number six and the least important lowest priority pillar Mm-hmm, but it's the one we talk about the most a thriving business that doesn't control you, because the other guys in the group, other men that we talked to, they picked that as number one they did.
Coach Dustin:We did a poll and it was asked what is the pillar that you Want the most help with for, or lead need to lean into the most? And I believe the reason why is the thriving business that doesn't control you. Does that give you more time in your family? Does that give you more time to be with your wife? Does that give you more time to work on your health? In theory, that's what people believe, I think.
R. J. Campbell:I agree a hundred percent. Yeah, because that, yeah, that that thing that should be number six is number one. It's taking up a lot of time time at night, not just long days, yes, and it's pulling away from those other five pillars and it stresses you yes.
Coach Dustin:Now I believe, though, all, all ships rise right. So meaning, if you work on one pillar, I believe of they will all rise.
R. J. Campbell:Dustin, I'll tell you the best year he has in his recent life was the year he spent training for the fight 100%, you've heard about.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, 100% financially. My marriage, I mean, with my kids. My kids were younger, you know I very, very close to my kids, so I don't know if that was much difference in that. Yet I was more proud to my kids when I was doing that.
R. J. Campbell:Yeah, Focusing on improving that one thing that priority was health, right and it raised everything and it raised everything. I saw it surrounding the whole year. I said I was right behind him the whole way so I wouldn't get it right.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, so let's focus on the next 90 days, right? I say this is middle of October, so I'm gonna say till the end of the year, so it's a little over 90 days right now. But if you had to lean into, this is the next 90 days. What would it be? What is the goal that you're gonna work on? What is the goal you're gonna? How are you gonna dad up Around one thing in the next 90 days?
R. J. Campbell:and let us know what those are put. Going to that Facebook group that we know You're all a member of, we'll touch on that in a moment. Put some comments in there on that yeah, really curious. Or come out on the show yeah, absolutely. So I'm gonna add one here, please. This thing's happening. Listen to a podcast today what a shock is.
R. J. Campbell:Dustin will tell you, and a guy I'm listening to Is a sailor, as he and his wife sailor on the world long sailing expeditions Before they did their first one. This we were talking about setting a goal. They bought a boat, big sailboat, had it in a marina and spent about a year prepping that boat for their Planned circumnavigation of their of the world. So they're making improvements to the boat. But there's always one more thing, and he Now here you talk about a goal. He referenced a marina is a place where dreams go to die, because every person you would meet in that marina all had the plan oh, what do you work on your boat for? Oh, we're heading to the Caribbean, we're sailing to you. They all had a plan. They were all working on their boats and been doing it for ten years. He said finally, now we did a whole episode on this. Finally, he and his wife just said screw it, we're leaving tomorrow, love it. We were both experienced sailors, they were racing sailors, they knew what they were doing. Screw it, we're gone.
R. J. Campbell:If people ask people have these detailed plans day by day. We know what we're doing, where we're stopping, what we're going to see and Reference. Because if people ask a couple asked him and their family, they're all together said so what are you guys gonna do? He said I think we're heading south tomorrow. You just gotta go. So those people didn't have a goal. They had a dream that is somewhat of a vision. This is what I want to do, but they didn't have that goal to in three months we are going, yeah. So there's a lot of that in business too. We meet a lot of people there, especially in the real estate world, just getting into real estate investing. So we'll meet them in different groups and Sometimes those groups might be the place where dreams go to die, because they just can't get. They don't have that Goal like this, that vision. This is what I'm doing in three months.
Coach Dustin:This is good. She just started with this. Let's talk about goals. So I teach a lot on goals and how to set goals and how to set your vision, and I do, especially this time of year, I Coach for other companies. You know business planning clinics and things like that Couple things that a goal 100% needs. What would you say? I would say the first thing is no idea, I'm being honest.
R. J. Campbell:A deadline, oh a deadline, that is true. He says that all the time I don't pay attention. Obviously that's true. There has to be a time on it or that thing will just live on in perpetuity.
Coach Dustin:I am that's the morning line. Right for sailors. The morning line morning line. Yeah, I am undoing that morning line in three months.
R. J. Campbell:Yes, he says that all the time. If I even say, oh, yes, I'm going to implement that, the first thing Dustin says is when are you going to have that come? Wait by when? Oh week from Tuesday, perfect.
Coach Dustin:And he starts asking yeah, and the thing with this is, too, is I also want people to say, when we're talking about goals, so we've set the deadline to, we're going to take, we're going to undo the line three months from now. Right, and those three months that you can only focus on what's called a leading measure, not the lagging measure.
R. J. Campbell:Laging is, after it's done, kind of right.
Coach Dustin:So let's talk about our salesperson. So we're we. We went out and we went out and we owned a sign company RJ and I own a sign company together and our salesperson out there. I want to do $250,000 in sales. Whatever it may be, right, I'm just making up a number. That's the goal, right, but all he needs to be.
Coach Dustin:I don't want him to focus on $250,000 in sales. I want him to focus on the activities to get there. How many people do I need to call every day? How many quotes do I need to do every day? Right, that's a leading measure, right? The other parts are how many, how many did I win? And things like that.
Coach Dustin:If you focus on that, you're never going to get there, because you have to focus on the leading stuff first. Make sense, right? So when we're doing these goals, let's think of that. All right. Now I have activities. What are my activities to do? Right, I have times in my calendar, that for coaching. I'll just be honest. I have people times in my calendar for coaching where I will either coach someone or I'm looking for someone new to coach. Looking for someone new to coach is a leading measure, right, I'm lead, generating All of our business people. You need to know the first thing you are in the first business you are in, no matter what business you're in and I'm going on a tangent here but no matter what business you're in, you are in the lead generation business first.
R. J. Campbell:It's the world's oldest profession, First right.
Coach Dustin:Sales lead generation. Your dentist, your lawyer, your doctor all of them completely out of business with no sales. So that was going on a tangent. Anyway, that's the leading measure. But to go back to goals, when we're setting these goals, you have to put that deadline in place or you're just stuck in a marina. You're stuck in a marina, let's not get stuck, let's undo that line.
R. J. Campbell:And that line when you say that date funny, he say a mooring line. You guys have heard me mention before. I have a son that's in the Navy. He actually deployed last Friday. He's in a carrier group. There are a lot of ships that go out with a carrier, so he's known for months. Friday, october 13th, they were deploying. I am pretty sure that that checklist was not done come Friday morning when that entire strike group decided to leave. But they were leaving anyway. But did they leave? That was the date they were leaving. We'll work on the other crap while we're going. Yeah, there are 1,100 things. We did not get off the list with this entire group of people, but that was the day. We're undoing the mooring line. We're leaving. We have to. We will stay in this marina forever. Correct, trying to get one more thing done.
Coach Dustin:Yeah, that imperfect action. Just go Undo the line. Gotta go Figure it out. You figure out things faster when you have activity.
R. J. Campbell:Very true.
Coach Dustin:Yeah. We were kind of all over in the place with this, and there was really no prep except for yesterday's conversation with RJ Weining. Yeah, I'm going to make him set a goal. Don't tell me you don't know what to do if you don't have a goal, because that's where you need to start. So, for all my business owners out there, for all the business dads out there, let's make sure that we have goals, and then the tasks are going to come after that.
R. J. Campbell:Perfect.
Coach Dustin:Dads. That's what we have today. Make it a phenomenal week. Make sure that you join these conversation with all the other dads that are doing conversation and doing life with us at dadupgroupcom. That'll get you right into the Facebook group and, yeah that's what I got.
R. J. Campbell:That's it. We just want guys to join us there because we can keep doing this. It's pretty cool.
Coach Dustin:Awesome Guys, be better tomorrow. We'll talk to you soon.
R. J. Campbell:I'm out.